THE COLLECTION · VOLUME 06
The Promised Gifts Log
A simple way to record the possessions you've promised to family and friends
Most families have things that matter far more than their financial value might suggest.
A watch promised to a grandson. A piece of jewellery intended for a daughter. A painting somebody has always loved. Perhaps a collection, an item of furniture or something carrying particular family memories.
These promises are often made casually and with the best of intentions.
“I'd like you to have this when I'm gone.”
The problem is that years may pass. Memories differ. Other family members may never have heard the conversation. And when somebody dies, an informal promise can be difficult to distinguish from a misunderstood conversation or simply a different recollection.
The Promised Gifts Log is a simple way to keep a record of those intentions.
Small possessions can create surprisingly big disagreements
When we think about inheritance planning, attention naturally turns to the valuable things: property, investments, pensions and money.
Yet disagreements after a death aren't always about the largest assets.
Sometimes they concern possessions whose emotional value is considerably greater than their monetary value.
Who was promised Mum's engagement ring?
Did Dad really say the watch should go to his eldest grandson?
Was the painting intended for one child, or did they simply say they liked it?
These can seem like small questions while everyone is alive.
They can feel considerably less small afterwards.
Writing down what you have promised won't remove every possible disagreement, but it can give your family a clearer record of what you intended.
What should you record?
The Promised Gifts Log gives you one place to record:
The item
What have you promised?
Who it is intended for
Who would you like to receive it?
The reason or story behind it
Is there a particular significance to the gift?
When you made the promise
Approximately when did you discuss it?
Anything else your family should know
Useful context that might otherwise be lost.
Free PDF · No email address required.
What should you record?
It isn't a substitute for your Will
This section is important.
The Promised Gifts Log is intended as a practical record of your wishes and conversations. It is not a Will and should not be treated as a substitute for appropriate legal advice or properly documenting gifts where that is required.
If you want to make sure a particular possession passes to a particular person after your death, consider whether your wishes should also be reflected formally in your Will or other appropriate estate-planning documents.
The purpose of the log is simpler:
to leave fewer important things dependent upon somebody remembering a conversation correctly.
Don't forget the story
There's another reason to keep a record.
Sometimes the most valuable thing about a possession isn't the object itself.
It's the story attached to it.
Why did your grandfather own that watch?
Where did the painting come from?
Why does a particular piece of jewellery matter?
What happened on the trip when you bought that rather unremarkable ornament that somehow became part of the family?
Those stories can disappear remarkably quickly.
So when you record a promised gift, consider recording why it matters too.
You may be passing on more than a possession.
A conversation now can make things easier later
The Promised Gifts Log isn't intended to turn family possessions into a formal allocation exercise.
Nor do you need to decide today who should eventually receive everything you own.
It's simply an opportunity to record promises you've already made — and perhaps identify a few conversations that would be better had while everyone can still have them.
Review the log occasionally.
Circumstances change. Relationships change. Possessions are sold, lost or given away during your lifetime.
And, occasionally, you may simply change your mind.
Keeping the record reasonably current is more useful than completing it once and forgetting about it.
Ready to record the promises you've made?
A few minutes spent recording an informal promise today could prevent uncertainty years from now.
The Promised Gifts Log gives you a simple place to start.
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